"Svend" (svend)
02/13/2020 at 18:05 • Filed to: None
7
10|
"Svend" (svend)
02/13/2020 at 18:05 • Filed to: None | 7
| 10 |
Senior commandments...
1 - Talk to yourself. There are times you need expert advice
2 - “In Style” are the clothes that still fit.
3 - You don’t need anger management. You need people to stop pi**ing you off.
4 - Your people skills are just fine. It’s your tolerance for idiots that needs work.
5 - The biggest lie you tell yourself is, “I don’t need to write that down. I’ll remember it.”
6 - “On time” is when you get there.
7 - Even duct tape can’t fix stupid - but it sure does muffle the sound.
8 - It would be wonderful if we could put ourselves in the dryer for ten minutes, then come out wrinkle-free and three sizes smaller?
9 - Lately, You’ve noticed people your age are so much older than you.
10 - Growing old should have taken longer.
11 - Ageing has slowed you down, but it hasn’t shut you up.
12 - You still haven’t learned to act your age, and hope you never will.
13 - Never pass on the opportunity for a ****
14 - Never trust a fart
15 - Never waste an erection
.
.
.
‘OLD’ IS WHEN....
Your sweetie says, ‘Let’s go upstairs and make love,’ and you answer,
‘Pick one; I can’t do both!’
‘OLD’ IS WHEN...
Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you’re
barefoot..
‘OLD’ IS WHEN...
A sexy babe or hunk catches your fancy and your pacemaker opens the garage door.
‘OLD’ IS WHEN...
Going braless pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.
‘OLD’ IS WHEN...
You don’t care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don’t have to go along.
‘OLD’ IS WHEN...
You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police
OLD’ IS WHEN...
‘Getting a little action’ means you don’t need to take any fiber today.
‘OLD’ IS WHEN...
‘Getting lucky’ means you find your car in the parking lot.
‘OLD’ IS WHEN...
An ‘all nighter’ means not getting up to use the bathroom.
AND
‘OLD’ IS WHEN.....
You are not sure these are jokes
ttyymmnn
> Svend
02/13/2020 at 18:22 |
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You’re only young once, but you can be immature forever.
fintail
> Svend
02/13/2020 at 18:24 |
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I’m staring middle age in the face and a number of those commandments are already on point. Also being told to slow down by the doctor, yeah.
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Svend
> ttyymmnn
02/13/2020 at 18:26 |
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I want a race horse called Maybach. Because I want to hear dozens of women screaming, “come on Maybach, come on Maybach”. Lol.
A horse called, ‘My Face’ also works. Lol.
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Svend
> fintail
02/13/2020 at 18:27 |
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I’m 40 and think some of these have applied for sometime already.
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ttyymmnn
> Svend
02/13/2020 at 18:29 |
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fintail
> Svend
02/13/2020 at 18:30 |
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3 and 4 applied by the time I was about 9 years old.
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Svend
> fintail
02/13/2020 at 18:39 |
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True dat.
Highlander-Datsuns are Forever
> Svend
02/13/2020 at 19:57 |
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Piss is a surprisingly inoffensive word in the US.
ranwhenparked
> ttyymmnn
02/13/2020 at 20:49 |
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Always remember, you’re only as old as your last plastic surgery procedure.
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Svend
> Highlander-Datsuns are Forever
02/13/2020 at 22:39 |
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Same here. Depending on how it’s said and meant.
Okay
‘I need a piss’,
Less so
‘Your taking the piss’,
Not okay
‘Piss off'.